life..

I've been meaning to write for a couple of days but then I've either forgotten about it or something else has come in between.. I've been a bit more down in the dumps again for a couple of weeks.. and not really had so much energy.. but I managed to lift myself up a bit already yesterday :) just in time so I could read 3 chapters of Economics and make the assignments that were due..
I've also decided to raise the dose of my medicin a bit again, I've been trying to lower it but it went too low now.. just waiting for the doctor to write the prescription.
On Saturday I felt a bit like I was drowning.. drowning in all the pressure from living.. there's so much all the time! Even just staying at home there's so much that needs to be done.. house cleaned, food cooked and eaten and kitchen cleaned afterwards, bills to pay, stuff to organize.. I know most of the population can't realize how hard and big even the smallest task can be if you're not fully functioning.. I do feel lots better than I have in years past, which makes me realize how depressed I really have been.. definitely don't want to go down that road again..
Btw, didn't get the last job either.. but there's one for me somewhere, just have to keep looking and looking and try not to get too depressed... ;)
The best thing though is that I have managed to cut back on my chocolate! I also realized that I can be a chocolate lover even if I don't eat huge amounts every day :P yesterday I didn't eat any chocolate, just didn't feel like it.. I've developed a new feeling, sort of like I don't want to eat chocolate when I'm really feeling down or angry or something.. :) now I'm still battling against my more or less constant sweet tooth :) although I'd say that one has been surprisingly quiet too.

Still knitting and crocheting :) the shawl for my friend is almost finished! I'm on the last row, but of course I ran out of yarn so I have to go and get some more today.. but it's such a lovely blue color that I don't mind at all having some extra :)